I Am...
I am. A daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partner, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and caring. And thoughtful, and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly, and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided and mislead. I am hard working and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I cry my tears. I smile on the outside, while i'm dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. I walk on eggshells and I walk on fire. I believe in passion but not true love. I love you and I push you away. I want you but not so close. I am everything and nothing all at once, and all I want is for you to
Love Me.
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. to handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. anger is only one letter short of danger. if someone betrays you once, it is his fault: if he betrays you twice, it is your fault. great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. he who loves money, loses much; he who loses a friend, looses much more; he who looses faith, loves all. beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. learn from the mistakes of others. you can't live long enough to make them all yourself. friends, you and mee....you brought another friend...and then there were three...we started our group...our circle of friends...and like that circle....there is no beginning or end....yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
Have you ever heard a song from so long ago,
with so many memories tied to it that it made you cry?
And didn't you wish that you could go back in time
to when everything was simple and carefree?
Those are the songs that are the soundtracks of our lives...
The ones that brings back our past.
-best friends-
-first loves-
-broken hearts-
&&
m.e.m.o.r.i.e.s.
good and bad
So here I sit, looking at the traffic light; the red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites. I wanna run away, I wanna ditch my life; 'cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night. And after all of my alicies desert me, I just wanna get by, don't want nothin' to hurt me. And I had no idea where my head was at, but if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that?
youths are arrested.
teenagers get an STD.
teens are assulted.
are raped.
teens drop out of school.
teenagers become mothers.
teenage girls get an abortion.
adolescents begine drinking alcohol.
adolescents begin using drugs.
children are arrested for drug use.
teens commit suicide...
IN ONE DAY
Nobody understands how much I miss you, I miss how much we used to talk, and miss all the things we used to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you each day. I still think of you and I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we're not.
Life changes every minute of every day. You lose
friends & you gain friends. You realize your friend
wasn’t ever really your friend, & that person you
used to hate can make a really good friend. You
look for love. You find love & you lose love. You
realize all along that you’ve been loved. You
laugh, you cry. You laugh so hard that you cry.
You do this, you do that. You really wish you
hadn’t dont that. You then learn from that & are
glad that you did. You have your ups & you have
your downs. You see good movies & you see bad
movies. You wonder if your life is just one big movie.
You look at others & wish you were them. You then
realize who they are & are glad that you’re you.
You love life and you hate life. In the end, you just
find yourself being happy to be living life, no
matter what is thrown at you.
he looked at me & said, "do you ever feel like you're working for something you're never going to get? you shoot-&-miss kind of deal. like, no matter what, you can't have it, but that makes you fight for it just a little bit more?" i looked at him, stared at him for a second, & replied, "everyday"
Take your damn fairy tale endings and your hopes, dreams, & wishes and shove them up your ass. This is the real world, && that shit just doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not miserable, but I'm not happy. I'm not strong, but I'm not weak. I'm not rude, but I'm not polite. I'm not popular, but I'm not a loner. I'm not sexy, but I'm not horrid. I'm not dumb, but I'm no genius. I'm not you, but I am Me. Accept it.
last week i had the strangest dream where everything was exactly how it seemed where there was never any mystery of who shot John F. Kennedy. it was just a man with something to prove. slightly bored and severly confused. he steadied his rifle with his target in the center and became famous that day in november.
and when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud because it will carry all your cares away and when you see, see the beauty all around you and in yourself. it will help you feel okay and when you pray, pray for strength to carry on when the troubles come your way.
i couldn't believe my eyes when i woke up this morning. i looked at the sidewalk and there was a million people dressed the same, who answered their cellphones at the same time and all popped a pill for the same disorder. can't be fat, no we can't have that. we're so far gone, don't you see that we're so far gone?
i say to myself, "self why are you awake again?" it's one a.m. standing with the fridge wide open, staring. such a sight, florescent light. the stars are bright, might make a wish if i believed in that shit but as it is, i might watch TV cause it's nice to see people more messed up then me.
i'm not good at meeting new people. they always want something, cigarettes, gas money, lighters, drugs. i have nothing to offer these people. not a smile, not a wink. i've got pills but they're mine. i've got thoughts and dreams but no one wants to listen and i haven't got a journal worth reading. not even a page worth saving. i have nothing on my vest. no badge of honor to display. no trophies. no family trips to brag about. no selfish habits to feed upon. i'm not depenedant on chemicals or pleasures. i'm not using anyone for anything. i'm not going to pay you to be my fucking friend.
recently i've come to realize that maybe my unhappiness is my own fault. when i lose someone close to me, it's the end of the world because i become so dependent on people. so when they leave i don't have much left. friendships in my past have more emotionally draining and dramatic for me because i cannot just move on. i have to analyze and think everything out and try to see where it all went to shit. while going through this analyzing process i seem to shut myself off to other people because i'm more sensitive then ever at this point and i can't deal with other people. so i'm alone and wondering, "why the hell am i alone?" well, i figured it out. i shut my self away from people who could potentially be there for me. life is too hard and too sad to be alone.
you don't have to move, you don't have to speak. lips for biting. you're staring me down, a glance that makes me weak. eyes for striking. now i'm twisting up when i'm twisted with you. brush so lightly and time trickles down and i'm breathing for two. squeeze so tightly. i'll be fine, you'll be fine. this moment seems so long. don't waste now this precious time, we'll dance inside the song.
of all the things i question in life, i have one answer in my mind. what you need is that one person who keeps you going, that one person who manages to take all the pain away. it amazes me that the one person who stays with you through everything, makes you forget all about the others who didn't. a single soul out of the billions in the world can make you feel like you are the world. life is only worth living if there is someone worth living for. you need that someone who fills the empty space in your heart, someone who lets you know you're so much more than enough. i hope everyone finds that someone who makes their days worthwhile and i thank God you're that person to me. thanks for being my angel.
and they say we'll never see half as much as they did. it's true that we never saw Vietnam or World War Two. we didn't see our mother's cry when John F. Kennedy died but we've lived our whole lives being told that we're just not good enough. we've seen anorexia and bulimia because skinny just isn't skinny enough. we saw Columbine and watched the Twin Towers fall. we've seen a lot of greed and even more hate. our generation fights a different kind of war but we've seen just as much as them.. and maybe even more.
all this time, i've been pretending. i've been pretending that someday, my prince charming will come by. he'll be riding a beautiful white horse, and take me away in his lap. he'll shower me with kisses and present me rose after rose. my prince charming will care about me more than anyone in the world. but i've realized that just isn't going to happen. because the only person i'd want to shower me with kisses and take me away to a pretty palace is you. i don't need a horse, all i need is your old pickup truck and your arms around me tight. i don't need roses, when all i'll have to do is listen to our song and be reminded of you. i don't need a palace; all i need is for you to love me.
Take me past the color of your eyes, take me from the past of all my mistakes to where the future lies. I know that my moods were changing like the weather. Do you ever dream of us together? Now I just want to show you who I am, holding onto dreams, we collide.
I'm a slut because I'll wear shorts & a tanktop, I'm anorexic because I eat as much as I want & don't gain weight, I'm a bitch because I don't let you push me around, I'm a liar because I won't tell you everything, I'm stupid because sometimes I'm wrong, I'm ugly because my face isn't perfect, I'm a whore because I like boys, I'm annoying because I'm not chill enough, I'm a loser because I'm not friends with your group, I use people because I do what's best for me, I'm fake because most of the time I'm happy, I'm weird because I'm not like you, I'm controlling because I get mad sometimes, I'm clingy because I like to be around people, I'm greedy because I like to be satisfied, I'm naive because I?m younger than you, I'm conceited because I'm proud of who I am, I'm rude because my manners aren't perfect, I'm unappreciative because I don't praise you. Don't try to tell me who I am because I already know.
Relationships aren't easy. So much comes with them. No one actually realizes how much trouble a relationship is until they're in one. Yes, it may seem great at first, but are you still gonna feel that way when you realize that you can't trust them or are fighting with them? Are you gonna feel that way in good times & bad. Most likely you aren't going to. But, that's what makes a relationship so amazing. No matter how much you can hate that person, if it's true love, it will always work out.
Don't waste your time regretting all your wrongs. Know that in the end, you'll get what your heart longs. Try not to risk it all; don't stumble; don't fall. Take the time to read the writings on the wall. Hold your head high; don't be afraid to say goodbye. Stay true and be you. do everything there is to do. Live life to the fullest and never look back - There is a reason for the future and a reason for the past. Love til it hurts; laugh til you cry. And when your life flashes before you die, Be happy for what you've done, Be happy for what you've overcome, And most of all, be proud of what you've become.
There is no real definition for love. It could be that endless feeling of happiness you get from being around that person or the butterflies you feel fluttering around inside of you when he smiles. But one thing I'm sure of is that we all fall in love sometime in our life, & when we do, then & only then can we give our definition of love.
Life takes your dreams & turns them upside down;
friends talk about you when you're not around.
People make promises they just can't keep,
& I've come to realize that talk is cheap.
To often we don't realize what we have until it's gone;
to often we wait to long to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones we hold dearest to our hearts,
& we allow foolish things to tear our lives apart.
Who is the one person
you would stay close to like a shadow?
Who is the one person
you see when you look at others?
Who is the one person
you'd dream to be with during the day?
Who is the one person
you'd always look for when you come online?
Who is the one person
which makes you smile when you think about them?
Who is the one person
who would make you blush everytime they look at you?
Who is the one person
you're thinking about while you're reading this?
Aren't we so good at holding onto the past? If we weren't speeding, I'm sure we wouldn't have crashed. Under the influence of our shallow lust; I know we should be careful but that won't happen to us. Love is a second, third, fourth and fifth shot. God knows I need it. God knows you haven't forgot. Oh and you are too much like a drug to me. No longer what I want, just what I think I need. Why would I leave when I could waste away with you? Less concerned with what I'll find than what I could lose; it's easier to look down than to look you straight in the eye. I'll only say this once because I know it's going to make you cry. There is a reason I feel lost when I'm not with you. It's not because of love; it's just that you are what I've gotten used to...nothing left; but you say 'can't you give us one more try? We're in a knot that I can't let you untie.' If we don't leave now, we never will.
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wow... peace love and happiness is so totally me!!!!! can you please make me a graphic!!!!! omg thanks so much!!!!!
(added you can you please add me!!!!)
